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Think Like a Woman

Posted by on Jul 7, 2014 in Blog | 1 comment

Think Like a Woman

The movie Act Like a Woman; Think Like a Man Too was a huge hit at the box office this weekend and so was the book when it came out. I think the title sums it up; however, some professional women just don’t seem to get it. In most cases you can actually just be a woman and get the job done just as well, if not better. Here are three ways we shoot ourselves in the foot and how we can fix the wound.   1. Being Insensitive. Before becoming a woman of power, so to speak, we wanted those around us and our leaders to be more understanding. I daresay some even complained about it. Yet, we forget to be considerate and sensitive to our subordinates as we climb the corporate the ladder. The fixer is remembering that being understanding actually can empower your employees and motivate them to step it up out of appreciation. An act of kindness? It’s amazing how far that can take you.   2. Using insight. Sometimes as women we are so busy getting the job done that we don’t take a minute to encode information that could be beneficial. Maybe we realize something should have been done a little differently after the fact. That could be circumvented by actually paying attention to what is being said and the reactions taking place instead of standing our ground “I am in charge and have to prove myself as a woman”. Use your womanly sixth sense. Did you know in 2010, in a study by Hall (not me), it was determined that women are better at deciphering nonverbal messages and in recognizing deceit better than men? Well, only if taking the time to actually pay attention.   3. Lack of Collaboration. I know we want to do it all and we have to show the world… at least, we sometimes think this. Still, that’s not the way it should be. Women can be great collaborators when they actually, well, collaborate. When is the last time you had a brainstorming session instead of giving commands? No offense, but consider this. It’s mostly men in the white house. You see where that’s gotten us. In our business world, we can communicate and pool resources to strengthen the organization. You don’t have to be a one woman show. Not to mention, it could relieve some of the pressure.   Take a step back and consider whether your style can use more soft skills. The bottom line is to use your natural God given gifts. Think like a woman; act like a...

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Yay! It’s Friday the 13th?

Posted by on Jun 13, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

Yay! It’s Friday the 13th?

Did you know that businesses lose millions of dollars on Friday the 13th? According to Business Insider, the loss is over 700 million dollars. That’s a lot of bananas… and shoes. I wonder if business picks all the more on Saturday the 14 of the month, although some still refuse to shop on that day also. Of course, it’s everyone’s personal belief system that determines good days and bad days. You know the glass half empty or half full mentality. Every day we have a choice whether or not to give in to superstitions or the negative instances that may occur. Are we going to mad all day about the car accident or glad that we walked away alive? Are we going to live in disappointment that business was slower than usual or revel in our abilities to still sustain ourselves in spite of circumstances? There is a lot to for which we should be grateful. Situations, that are not so good, happen every day. It’s not just on certain Fridays throughout the year. My dad and I (rest his soul) would sometimes do a little something extra on Friday the 13th, just because. It taught me to celebrate life and now business each day. I encourage you to do the same. So, instead of concentrating on the tall tales of what could happen, make it business as usual and...

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Slap Fear in the Face

Posted by on Jun 9, 2014 in Blog | 1 comment

Slap Fear in the Face

Fear can be paralyzing. When I worked as a counselor, the bulk of my clients suffered from depression and anxiety, which in my humble opinion, correlates with fear. They were unhappy and concerned about their qualities or what others may think of them. Some were too afraid to go past the first few baby steps that could lead them to a more enjoyable life. Sure, these were clients in a therapy setting, but I meet tons of people in the workforce who are also paralyzed by fear. So, let’s translate that into the non-therapeutic sense and consider individuals who encounter sadness and unease as it relates to their career. I was a newspaper advice columnist for over 12 years so I guess it just comes natural to offer suggestions, which I will do for the three types of career fear that I have stumbled upon most. But it’s so “comfortable” here: Yay! You have a job. Every day you go to work, but it’s not really the career you want because leaving that cushy (or not so cushy) job would mean taking a risk. It may be a small risk like simply taking a couple of courses or just applying for something new; however, it’s not one you’re willing to take. The fear is the possibility of doing less than stellar in classes or not being accepted in your career choice with open arms. I won’t lead you on and say this won’t happen. It might, but the beauty is that it may not and you will gain new knowledge on your quest. So, take a class and see how it works out for you. Learn what services the college offers that will benefit you. If you’re just going for the career change talk to people in the field, research and read articles so you can learn what you need to be successful in your career choice. These are the baby steps that can help you before facing the big fear of actually going for the gusto. I understand the real fear is rejection, which may surprise you and not even happen. Not to mention if you don’t get it, you are not the only person in that situation. Do not take it personally. Do know this. You certainly won’t get anywhere if you continue to let fear control you. Time to get out of your comfort zone.   You mean I have to talk to people?: Yes. This is a lesson I had to learn. No, I’m not shy. I even won Toastmasters a few times, but I am an introvert who prefers to go to the movies on Monday to avoid the crowd. When I initially started writing the advice column, doing public speaking engagements, and starting my own business I learned I had to network. Sure, I could work a room and talk with pretty much anyone for five minutes; however, I quickly learned I had to do more. I had to attend meetings and one-on-one lunches and engage different people for a lengthy period. I actually spoke with some executives in order to help me overcome this feat. This may also help you if networking is not your strong suit. Talking to people to introduce your product or business can be a little disconcerting, but in many instances you don’t have to do much talking at all. As I share in my forthcoming book “No More Career Pity Parties”, there are many people who are happy to hear your spiel for the first few minutes then take over the conversation. As a result, when you are in...

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Is it really healthy?

Posted by on Jun 5, 2014 in Blog | 1 comment

Is it really healthy?

I love healthy tips, especially ones with a twist. Some things start out on the “no no” list due to causing weight gain, having too much sugar, or other unhealthy qualities in general. My favorite is probably the one about chocolate. You know the studies that show dark chocolate is good for the heart and has antioxidants. Some even say it’s good for your brain and that just chocolate in general is good for your health, including controlling coughs. That’s good for those who prefer milk chocolate. I recently asked which is your favorite chocolate on Facebook and milk chocolate seems to be forerunner. And, who doesn’t like chocolate? Okay, not everyone, so let’s try nuts and fruit. Almonds, walnuts, pecans, peanuts, and the list continues. Today, nuts are considered to be a good source of protein. Some also have antioxidants as well as vitamins and other healthy stuff to ward off diseases including lowering cancer risks and improving heart health. Who knew? Because many years ago, there was that discussion about nuts increasing your weight and not to eat in when pregnant. Today, nuts are the healthy snack choice. What about the lovely fruit, which is now supposed to be the best substitute for your sugar fix. If you get the right fruit, they may be on to something because some fruits like strawberries and bananas are sweet. A doctor once told me watermelon is comparable to eating a snickers bar. Of course, watermelon is natural and does not have the same impact as the sugar from a candy bar. Eating that sugar from a candy bar could make you want to run it off. Wait. Running is great exercise, but it’s bad for your joints. There seems to always be a catch, doesn’t it? Nothing is healthy. Everything is healthy. Then what’s the point? The point is there is a give and take. So, what do you do? You have to find that balance. Eat chocolate or whatever you want, just in moderation. Even run but just in moderation to save your joints. Bottom line. Determine your limits and be honest with yourself when confronted with “How healthy is...

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